Monday, January 24, 2011

Half and half

Trying to figure out how to be a full-time writer while being a full-time something else. (While not earning full-time pay at either.) My books are in a perpetual holding pattern and characters are saying "Hel -- LLOO!" and tapping their feet at me. Taking the next quarter off to write regardless of the artist residencies; it's temporary solution. Part of it's probably that I'm trying to figure out a new career, the rhythm, the downtime. I'm getting better at writing a page here and a page there but sometimes days and now weeks go by and not a word.

Monday, January 17, 2011


She doesn't like to be chased or cornered; she's feline in that way. But sometimes when it's quiet and dark she'll visit, bringing gifts. She was particularly generous the other night, giving me a storyline-intact dream, translatable to paper. And then in the foggy not-awake, the kind of dialogue only characters can create themselves. In my organizing process I find other dream stories scratched quickly on scraps of paper, sketches of a moving target. Sometimes she eludes us when we seek her, but our job is to clear the space and let her arrive.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Caught on film

Been on a weird organizing kick, so unlike me. Part of it's been pulling photos out of boxes and making albums, an activity I enjoyed once but gave up and now have reclaimed with an odd fervor. A relative suggested I'm categorizing my life. Maybe I'm trying to make sense of the journey. One thing occurred to me clearly while picking through the images: I spent way too much time being unhappy. It's easier to see now with a little distance but I see it in my face and I looked older when I was younger. Spent too much time trying to get there instead of just being there. Common trap. I still get caught sometimes but less often. I see it in my face.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011


New year passed without much hoopla, partially because my goals remain the same. Or the same, only more. Continuation, pursuit, artistry. Make a connection, try something new, do something better.

A friend's Christmas card told of an artist residency; now I'm applying for my own. Which is why artists need to hang out -- we motivate and inspire simply by example. Keeping the creative energy in motion. Motion leads to momentum.

Heard back from owl-delivery agent, who suggested revisions. So it's not a no. In the mean time another wants to see the book. So that's good too.